A Composition A Week - The Problem With Flashbacks

Flashback is one of the most popular ways of beginning a story. And if used correctly, it is also very effective. However, just like using characterisation to start a story has its pitfalls, you must be careful when using the flashback technique.


How the flashback technique works is that the story starts in the present. An event in the present triggers the narrator's memory and the narrator then recounts the main story as an event that happened in the past, i.e. as a memory. The problem occurs when the pupil forgets to get the narrator to return to the present at the end of the story. To use the flashback technique correctly, the narrator must recollect himself and return to the present moment at the end of the story.


Below is a story by one of the pupils.


It is an excellent story on many counts. The flashback at the start of the story is succinct and effective, the story is well-developed with plot points that flow logically and the writer displays a great range of vocabulary. The only problem is that the writer forgot to bring the narrator back to the present at the end of the story.

A MOST HARROWING INCIDENT

“Come on, John!” John’s friends shouted excitedly while kicking and splashing about in the swimming pool. John shook his head. He had had a phobia of water since young. It was all because of an accident…

“Three for one dollar! Three for one dollar!” the stallholders beckoned to their customers. The crowded market was bustling with shoppers. It was an exciting scene of colour, sound and smell. John was at the wet market with his mother to buy the week’s groceries. He had agreed to go reluctantly. He watched as his mother bargained for a cheaper price. Finally the stallholder relented. ‘How boring!’ John thought.

John asked for permission to play outside the market. Engrossed in her purchases, Mother agreed absent-mindedly and John left gleefully. Mother continued with her marketing. Suddenly, a man rushed in, shouting loudly that a boy had fallen into the river. Mother was about to turn and tell the John how careless the boy was when she realized he was gone! She gasped in shock when it struck her that it could be her son.

Without hesitation, Mother rushed to the river. She saw the victim struggling in the water. To her horror, it was John! John was flailing his hands frantically, choking as he swallowed the water. A quick-thinking man grabbed a long rope lying on the riverbank. He threw the rope out to John, then pulled him onto the bank.

Everyone applauded when John was hauled out of the water. He was panting and shivering in fear and cold. He thanked the Good Samaritan profusely. Then John explained that he had accidentally fallen into the river while strolling along the river. After this harrowing incident, he promised to be more vigilant in the future.

Anna Kong (P4)

Marymount Convent

See how the story ends in the past? That is a big no-no.  However, if we were to add one more paragraph to the story, then it would be perfect.

A MOST HARROWING INCIDENT

“Come on, John!” John’s friends shouted excitedly while kicking and splashing about in the swimming pool. John shook his head. He had had a phobia of water since young. It was all because of an accident…

“Three for one dollar! Three for one dollar!” the stallholders beckoned to their customers. The crowded market was bustling with shoppers. It was an exciting scene of colour, sound and smell. John was at the wet market with his mother to buy the week’s groceries. He had agreed to go reluctantly. He watched as his mother bargained for a cheaper price. Finally the stallholder relented. ‘How boring!’ John thought.

John asked for permission to play outside the market. Engrossed in her purchases, Mother agreed absent-mindedly and John left gleefully. Mother continued with her marketing. Suddenly, a man rushed in, shouting loudly that a boy had fallen into the river. Mother was about to turn and tell the John how careless the boy was when she realized he was gone! She gasped in shock when it struck her that it could be her son.

Without hesitation, Mother rushed to the river. She saw the victim struggling in the water. To her horror, it was John! John was flailing his hands frantically, choking as he swallowed the water. A quick-thinking man grabbed a long rope lying on the riverbank. He threw the rope out to John, then pulled him onto the bank.

Everyone applauded when John was hauled out of the water. He was panting and shivering in fear and cold. He thanked the Good Samaritan profusely. Then John explained that he had accidentally fallen into the river while strolling along the river. After this harrowing incident, he promised to be more vigilant in the future.

“Come on, John!” The shout snapped John back to the present. Looking at the water wistfully, John shook his head at his friends and ambled towards the barbecue pit.

Anna Kong (P4)

Marymount Convent

So do exercise caution when you are using either characterisation or flashback to begin your story!