As I want to focus on the format of a formal letter, I will not reproduce the whole question in this post. Instead, I'll just give the main points that need to be mentioned in the letter and move on from there because the focus of this post is to highlight the format of a formal letter and the tone that should be used in the PSLE.
Task
The task given was as such:
1. The writer is supposed to be James, the Head Prefect of Champion High School.
2. He is supposed to write a letter to a VIP, Mr Norman, to invite him to be the Guest-of-Honour in an event that Champion High School is organising.
3. The six points that need to be mentioned are:
- the date (9 September 2010, 12 noon to 1.35 pm)
- the venue (Champion High School)
- the objective for organising the inter-school games (provide an opportunity for pupils from South Zone schools to get to know one another)
- the highlight of the event (Project Runway)
- one other item in the programme that might interest the Guest-of-Honour (screening of video on torch relay)
- what the Guest-of-Honour is expected to do during the programme (give a speech and light the South Zone cauldron)
The following sample is a letter combining the various common mistakes made by pupils. Let us read and then analyse what is wrong with the sample and how we can correct it.
Sample
Dear Mr Norman,
Our school Champion High School would be very honoured if you are willing to come to our event. Some interesting items at the event include the arrival of YOG mascot and the screening of a video on the torch relay. Our main event is the ‘project runway’ which is actually a fashion show showcasing YOG t-shirts designed by our very own pupils. The date of the event is 9th September 2010 and the time is 12 noon to 1.35pm at the Champion High School. You are needed to give a speech on the opening of the event. Hope that you will come.
Yours sincerely,
James
Analysis
1. Firstly, some of the required content is missing. This sample missed out Point 3 - the objective of the organising the inter-school games. This means that in the examination, instead of scoring 6 marks for content, this sample will only score 5 marks.
Situational writing awards 6 marks to content and 9 marks to language. It is difficult to score full marks for language. (To do that, the candidate's language needs to be flawless and the tone must be right. On top of these, the examiner needs to be kind!) However, it is relatively easy to score 6 marks for content, so the candidate needs to make sure that all the content asked for is given.
2. The content of the letter is also badly organised. It is all over the place. First the presence of the Guest-of-Honour is 'demanded'. Then the writer zooms into the interesting item and highlight of the event. Finally details such as time and venue are provided.
Although it is stated in the task that the candidate may reorder the sequence of the points, in practice, it is almost never a good idea to do so unless the candidate is very confident of what he is doing. The points are already ordered in such a way that the letter will turn out well-organised and coherent if the original sequence is followed. So unless the there is a good reason for doing so, do not reorder the points!
3. The tone of the sample is completely wrong. It is rude and informal at certain parts. This sample will only score 5 or 6 marks out of 9. We will talk more about the tone of a formal letter in the reproduction of the sample below.
Correct Format of a Formal Letter
In truth, the format of a formal letter would include the writer's details, date, recipient's details and subject line. But in the PSLE, all these are to be omitted. The examination only wants to test the candidate's ability to craft a clear and logical letter with the correct tone.
Hence, a letter - formal or informal - in the PSLE would look like this:
Dear XXX,
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
Yours sincerely,
XXX XXX
Format Controversies
There are various ways to present the letter. The format shown above is the new method. It is the method used in most secondary schools (yes, situational writing will haunt the pupils all the way till their O-levels). Different primary schools have different requirements. Some schools follow the secondary schools and ask their pupils to flush the letter to the left (see above). Others require that the pupils leave two fingers' spacing before starting their letter. Yet others want their pupils to start the letter after the comma in the salutation.
You know what? All these do not matter in the PSLE. They are all 5¢ - 10¢ decisions. In other words, they are not significant. As long as your salutation is there and so is your complimentary close, and you have the right tone for the letter, you would be alright.
Another thing to note is that we usually paragraph our letters but once again in the PSLE, it doesn't matter. You may choose to have paragraphs or you may chunk all your content into one paragraph; either way is fine. Now we come to what I really want to talk about - the tone of the letter.
Tone of the Letter
Most pupils understand that a formal letter requires a formal tone whereas an informal letter requires an informal one. The tricky part is how to produce the right tone.
Generally, most pupils have no problems with the informal tone. After all, that is the way in which they communicate with their friends and family. It is the formal tone that tends to trip them up and it is not difficult to see why. They hardly use formal language in their everyday life.
So let's see what's wrong with the sample that we talked about earlier.
A letter with the correct tone would resemble the following:
So to recap, please remember that for a formal letter:
1. You must use polite and respectful language; always request, never demand!
2. Remember to use the full name at the end of the letter.
3. And unless there is good reason to, do not change the order of the points that the task asks for.
Analysis
1. Firstly, some of the required content is missing. This sample missed out Point 3 - the objective of the organising the inter-school games. This means that in the examination, instead of scoring 6 marks for content, this sample will only score 5 marks.
Situational writing awards 6 marks to content and 9 marks to language. It is difficult to score full marks for language. (To do that, the candidate's language needs to be flawless and the tone must be right. On top of these, the examiner needs to be kind!) However, it is relatively easy to score 6 marks for content, so the candidate needs to make sure that all the content asked for is given.
2. The content of the letter is also badly organised. It is all over the place. First the presence of the Guest-of-Honour is 'demanded'. Then the writer zooms into the interesting item and highlight of the event. Finally details such as time and venue are provided.
Although it is stated in the task that the candidate may reorder the sequence of the points, in practice, it is almost never a good idea to do so unless the candidate is very confident of what he is doing. The points are already ordered in such a way that the letter will turn out well-organised and coherent if the original sequence is followed. So unless the there is a good reason for doing so, do not reorder the points!
3. The tone of the sample is completely wrong. It is rude and informal at certain parts. This sample will only score 5 or 6 marks out of 9. We will talk more about the tone of a formal letter in the reproduction of the sample below.
Correct Format of a Formal Letter
In truth, the format of a formal letter would include the writer's details, date, recipient's details and subject line. But in the PSLE, all these are to be omitted. The examination only wants to test the candidate's ability to craft a clear and logical letter with the correct tone.
Hence, a letter - formal or informal - in the PSLE would look like this:
Dear XXX,
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
Yours sincerely,
XXX XXX
Format Controversies
There are various ways to present the letter. The format shown above is the new method. It is the method used in most secondary schools (yes, situational writing will haunt the pupils all the way till their O-levels). Different primary schools have different requirements. Some schools follow the secondary schools and ask their pupils to flush the letter to the left (see above). Others require that the pupils leave two fingers' spacing before starting their letter. Yet others want their pupils to start the letter after the comma in the salutation.
You know what? All these do not matter in the PSLE. They are all 5¢ - 10¢ decisions. In other words, they are not significant. As long as your salutation is there and so is your complimentary close, and you have the right tone for the letter, you would be alright.
Another thing to note is that we usually paragraph our letters but once again in the PSLE, it doesn't matter. You may choose to have paragraphs or you may chunk all your content into one paragraph; either way is fine. Now we come to what I really want to talk about - the tone of the letter.
Tone of the Letter
Most pupils understand that a formal letter requires a formal tone whereas an informal letter requires an informal one. The tricky part is how to produce the right tone.
Generally, most pupils have no problems with the informal tone. After all, that is the way in which they communicate with their friends and family. It is the formal tone that tends to trip them up and it is not difficult to see why. They hardly use formal language in their everyday life.
So let's see what's wrong with the sample that we talked about earlier.
A letter with the correct tone would resemble the following:
So to recap, please remember that for a formal letter:
1. You must use polite and respectful language; always request, never demand!
2. Remember to use the full name at the end of the letter.
3. And unless there is good reason to, do not change the order of the points that the task asks for.
No comments:
Post a Comment