A Composition A Week

For this week's composition, I've chosen a story that is told from a different perspective. Most of the stories that we write, they are told from the perspective of the main character. Occasionally, we get pupils who will write from the perspective of the villain. But the rarest stories are those told from a non-human perspective, like this one.

The Gold Shop Robbery

            “Oh my gosh! That is so cool!” My admirers stared at me as I glistened in the light, showing off myself. “Better buy me now, I’m the last of my type!” I said sadly. All my best pals had been sold long ago. I had always wanted an owner, but there were always insulting comments like “Too expensive!”, “Hey! There is a scratch!”, “Oh! That is nicer than this!” or even “Why is it not sparkly?” Then, the shop owner picked me up and handed me to a lady clad in black. She tossed and turned me this way and that, looking for scratches on me.

              Out of the blue, there was a shout as a gang of burly men barged into the shop. Brandishing their guns, they commanded the customers to raise their hands.

            Terrified, the innocent people did as they were told. The men started breaking the glass cases and taking out my companions. I heard their silent cries as they were put into this humongous bag. However, I had no time to pity them. I too was grabbed and put into the bag. There, I comforted my friends and told the younger ones not to cry.

            Suddenly I heard a gun shot. Then, the bag was dropped and I knocked into my friends because of the impact of the drop. Then, other shots. I heard a scream, then a loud ‘thud’ as a man fell onto the floor. Terrified, I squeaked as I huddled close to my friends.

            After some shouting and clanging of metals, we were taken out of the bag. Light! This was the first time I had been so grateful to see it. However, a tinge of sadness pricked me. Looking around, I saw glass pieces, crying ladies and traumatised sales assistants. At the extreme corner of the shop, I saw the robbers. They looked at the floor regretfully as they were handcuffed by the police. Then, they were taken away by the police. Looking at the forlorn situation of the shop, I realized that I might never have an owner in my life as the reputation of the shop could be ruined. Well, I just had to cross my fingers and hope for the best!

Grace Song (P6)

St Margaret’s Primary

Advantage of Writing from a Non-Human Perspective

It is very refreshing as it is rare, so pupils who do this tend to be at an advantage (provided that they do it well) when it comes to awarding marks for content. All things being equal, they are likely to be awarded more marks for creativity.

Disadvantage of Writing from a Non-Human Perspective

It is more difficult to write from a non-human perspective because to pull this off successfully, pupils must have the ability to put themselves into the shoes of the narrator. I find that this is what most pupils have problems with. They cannot let go of their own persona and tend to get the 'voice' - the personality - of the narrator wrong.

The writer of the story above, Grace, has a knack for getting the right 'voice'. The narrator that she has crafted in this story, a gold item, has a distinct personality. As the story unfolds, we see that the narrator's most sincere wish is to be sold and find a home. We also see that the narrator is compassionate and helpful because 'it' pitied its companions who were grabbed and stuffed into a bag and also tried to offer comfort to the younger ones trapped in said bag.

This is what successful characterisation is about. Use the plot and the actions of the characters to show the reader the personality of the character and what drives the character. And in the upper levels, especially in Primary 5 and Primary 6, such characterisation is essential if you want to score in the high thirties for Continuous Writing.

One way to develop the ability to write successful characters, whether human or otherwise, is to read more. Forget Mr Midnight or True Singapore Ghost Stories. There is hardly any characterisation in those books. Instead, choose books by Enid Blyton (beginner to intermediate readers), Eoin Colfer (intermediate to advanced readers), Judy Blume (beginner to intermediate readers) and Margaret Mahy (intermediate to advanced readers) instead. There are many other good writers but these come to mind at the moment. And for those who want books with a Singaporean flavour, you could try books by Catherine Lim, Adeline Foo, Lim Suchen and Ho Minfong.

Of course you could also check out some of the book reviews that we have put up on this site, like this one and this one.