THE PROBLEM WITH CHARACTERISATION

In the Centre, it is quite common to use the technique of characterisation to start a story.

We can use characterisation in one of two ways.

The first way, which is also the one that we use more commonly, is to start the story by describing a personality trait of a character. This trait has to be crucial to the story. For example, if we are writing a story about bullying in school, then obviously our characterisation would be that this particular character was a bully. Then further elaboration is needed by providing three examples (ideally) of bullying behaviour that the bully engaged in.

The second method of characterisation is to describe a relationship. Again, the relationship has to be central to the story but we’ll leave that for a post on another day.

The common mistake I want to touch on today cropped up in Semester 1 Week 9 Advanced Composition. We did a post on it last week for One Composition A Week. The compositions that were showcased in that post were chosen for their original ideas. But today, we are going to talk about the sample composition that was shared with the classes.

The main plot in the sample composition was that narrator needed to go to the toilet in the middle of the class but as the teacher in the classroom at that time was very fierce, (s)he decided to hold the urge. Unfortunately, the narrator over-estimated his/her ability to control himself/herself and a most embarrassing accident happened in class.

In this case, the fierceness of the teacher was central to the story and so many pupils started the story with characterisation – describing how fierce the teacher was.

The tricky bit about characterisation is that the first paragraph is describing the character in general. Then when we move to the second paragraph when the story starts, we move from the general to the specific, in this case, a specific incident. Many pupils were unable to handle this transition smoothly.

What do I mean? Let me give you an example of a clumsily handled transition:

Mrs Soh was the most notorious teacher in school. Pupils withered at a single look from her. Parents cowered in her presence and it was rumoured that even the principal had to give her face.

The classroom was quiet and tense. All the pupils’ heads were bent in intense concentration…

The example above shows how abrupt and confusing it is for the reader. In the first paragraph, the reader is introduced to Mrs Soh but suddenly, in the second paragraph, the reader is moved to the scene of a classroom.

We will show you how to transition from characterisation to the main event of the story with six examples culled from our pupils.

Example 1

Mrs Soh was notorious throughout the school. It was rumoured that she breathed fire, not air. With a single glare, she could silence the most boisterous class. She had  such an intimidating presence that even parents cowered in front of her. But, one day, everybody’s opinion about her changed. [This sentence informs the reader the narrator is going to recount the incident which changed everybody's opinion about Mrs Soh.]

I was having a Mathematics lesson and the atmosphere in the classroom was so quiet and tense that there was a pin-drop silence. I was very afraid that Mrs Soh would scold me for whatever reason, so I listened attentively during her lesson.

In the middle of the lesson…

By Student 1

Example 2

Tension filled the air. Forty pairs of eyes were locked themselves on Mrs Soh as she began teaching us Mathematics. No one dared to make a sound because of Mrs Soh’s fierce reputation. Mrs Soh was notorious throughout the school. It was rumoured that she breathed fire, not air. She was a dragon in human skin. With a single glare, she could silence the most boisterous class. She had such an intimidating presence that even parents cowered in front of her.

In the middle of the lesson…

By Student 2

Student 2 sidesteps the problem by beginning the story in the classroom - a specific event already.

Example 3

Mrs Soh was notorious throughout the school. It was rumoured that she breathed fire instead of air. Her Medusa stare could petrify the most recalcitrant of pupils or the most boisterous class. However, my opinion of Mrs Soh changed when something happened some time ago… [Like Student 1, Student 3 uses this sentence to warn the reader that we are going to move from the general to the specific.]

On that fateful day, [Student 3 also uses this phrase to emphasise that we have moved to the specific] Mrs Soh had assigned us a Mathematics test. The class was as silent as a graveyard as everyone worked hard on the challenging questions. In the middle of the test…

By Student 3

Example 4

Mrs Soh was notorious throughout the school. With a single glare, she could silence the most boisterous class. However, an incident changed my opinion of her. It all happened on one fateful day… [Student 4 uses the same technique as Students 1 and 3.]

‘Ahh…another bad lesson with Mrs Soh,’ I thought to myself as I settled down in the classroom. Each time when she came in, the atmosphere in the class would become quiet and tense. As I picked up my pen to do my assignment, I could feel the sudden need to go. In the middle of the lesson…

By Student 4

Example 5

Her Medusa stare could petrify the most recalcitrant of pupils. She was notorious throughout the whole school. Her presence was so intimidating that even parents cowered in front of her. She was none other than Mrs Ng, our Mathematics teacher this year… [Jia Xuan's technique is rather risky. She is depending totally on the ellipsis - the punctuation mark consisting of 3 dots that look like full stops - to indicate to the reader that we are shifting from the general to the specific but she manages to pull it off together with the use of onomatopoeia (Ring...!) below. Bravo!]

Ring…! Time passed so fast. It was now time for our dreaded Mathematics lesson. Our English teacher left the classroom. My doomsday was about to start. Mrs Ng walked into the classroom. Without even looking at any of us, let alone greet us, she distributed some worksheets as a ‘warm-up’ before starting on the actual ‘exercise’…

By Chan Jia Xuan (P6)

Chongfu Primary School

Example 6

My English teacher, Mrs Ng, was notorious throughout the whole school. Her Medusa stare could petrify the most recalcitrant of pupils. Her presence was so intimidating that even parents cowered in front of her. It was only one day when something happened that I changed my view of Mrs Ng… [Ashley's technique should be very familiar by now; it is the same as that used by Students 1, 3 and 4.]

It was a day like any other day. [Highlighting to the reader that we have moved to the specific] Mrs Ng gave us a test that had to be completed in half an hour. The atmosphere in the classroom was silent and tense…

Ashley Chang (P6)

Chongfu Primary School

In conclusion, the two simplest ways to overcome this problem are:

1. After describing the character and providing the examples, use the following sentence or one of its variants:

However, one day, an incident happened and it changed…

2. The second method is even simpler than the first. After describing the character, simply begin the next paragraph with ‘One day…’

Hopefully, after reading this post, pupils will find it easier to use characterisation to start the story and there would be no problems transiting from the first paragraph to the second.