HOW TO START A STORY: EXAMPLES FOUND IN BOOKS

I’ve been posting a lot about how to start a story. It was my plan to post something else like FAQs in Composition-Writing, but I was reading Walter Woon’s The Advocate’s Devil trilogy when I came across something that I’ve just got to share with you.

Firstly, who is Walter Woon? One of the most famous things about him is that at one time, he was our Attorney-General. Other achievements he has notched up include graduating from NUS Law with first-class honours, completing a Masters in Law in Cambridge, being an ex-NMP, being Singapore’s ambassador to Germany and Belgium at one time. If you’re interested, you can read up about him in Wikipedia.

I had originally picked up the book thinking that it would be a collection of the cases he has handled. Other lawyers and professionals have done this before: SubhasAnandan, Chao Tzee Cheng, to name a couple.

I was mistaken. The Advocate’s Devil was a book of fiction. It centres around a Peranakan lawyer, Dennis Chiang, who had just returned to Singapore after finishing his law degree in Cambridge. But this is not a book review. Instead it is a post to share how one of the foremost lawyers of our time also uses the 9 techniques that I posted recently to begin his stories. Being in such distinguished company makes one more confident about one’s methods. I also thought it would be useful for you to see firsthand how someone who is accomplished in the English language uses the techniques.

There are 8 chapters in the book, and out of these 8 chapters, Walter Woon used the techniques we discussed to begin 6 of his stories.

The 8 chapters are:

1. The Body in Question

Technique used: Flashback

Madeline. There’s no mistake about it. That’s her name in the papers all right. And that photo. Still as beautiful as I remember her. What has it been now? More than sixty years since the last time we met? Half a century? I can recall the day clearly. It was the day she lost her husband.

Quite amusing actually, to see a top lawyer using the cliches we ask our pupils to avoid. But he did redeem himself with the last sentence in the paragraph, an effective hook.

2. The Widows’ Tale

Technique used: Proverb/Idiom/Famous saying (famous saying, in this case)

There is a Chinese saying that wealth only lasts three generations. It has been my misfortune to be four generations removed from the fount of wealth. My father’s grandfather came to the Straits Settlements shortly after Raffles had conned the Sultan of Johor into ceding Singapore to the British. Great-grandfather did a little of this and a little of that, but his big break came when he was appointed gambier and opium farmer — he didn’t grow the stuff, just imported it and collected the taxes for the British. Anyway, a couple of years as the honourable East India Company’s tax collector provided him with the capital to buy a small coastal vessel, and the rest, as they say, is history.

3. A Prince Among Men

Technique used: Climax/Create suspense (create suspense here)

In my time I’ve tried murder and I’ve tried rape. But the most trying of trials I’ve always found to be are family trials. I never look forward to them when I was on the bench. There’s almost always something intractably bitter about a family quarrel that ends up in court. The ones I hate the most are those involving custody of children. The Solomonic practice of cutting babies in half is impractical (apart from being unspeakably messy), so the judge must make a decision and hope to God that he has done the right thing. Give me a hardened murderer any day; it’s less strain on the nerves. My initiation into the intricacies of the family court came very early in my career. I’ll never forget her.

Walter Woon is trying to create suspense here with his first line. By talking about the brutal crimes of murder and rape, and saying that family trials are even worse than these, he is trying to intrigue the reader: What is so bad about family trials that he would prefer murder and rape to them?

Also notice the hook he inserts in the last sentence: I’ll never forget her. A provocative statement that is intended to trigger the reader’s curiosity: Who is she? Why did she leave such a deep impression on Dennis Chiang?

4. Evelyn

Technique used: Characterisation

I discovered early in life that one of the secrets of a good practice is to look the part. You don’t have to be brilliant to be successful. Clients generally can’t tell a good lawyer from a bad lawyer; a grave expression and grey hair are always an asset. It doesn’t matter if when you open your mouth you put your foot in it, as long as it is done with decorum and dignity. You can always blame the Judge later. We had a perfect example right in the firm.

His characterisation is a little different from what we usually do in our compositions, the difference being that he has the luxury to of time and words to take the time to develop his story. So over here, he is actually describing an inept partner in the law firm that Dennis Chiang worked for, but he didn’t give the name of the partner until in the second paragraph. In this paragraph, he is just describing to us how a lousy lawyer like this partner could be successful despite his lack of ability.

5. The Advocate’s Devil

Technique used: Speech/Dialogue

“I need you to devil for me.”

The request came like a bolt out of the blue. I was quietly rummaging through the library, looking for something to read that would not instantly send me into a state of terminal boredom, when Mr d’Almeida materialised at my side.

A great way of using speech. Also great hook. Most people would be intrigued by the very first sentence in this chapter. But actually to be an advocate’s devil simply means to act as an assistant to the advocate.

6. Nurse’s Orders

The introduction here is a continuation of what happened in Chapter 5 (at the end of Chapter 5, Dennis Chiang fainted after being hit by a poisoned dart; the beginning of Chapter 6 describes him regaining his consciousness), so the techniques are not used.

7. The Red Cell

Technique used: Building suspense

There comes a time in every lawyer’s life when he is called upon to win his spurs on the field of battle. Mine came not long after I was called to the Bar…

Like Chapter 3, Walter Woon is trying to create suspense in the reader by writing in this manner (it can almost be called ‘mysterious’). Questions he is trying to get reader to read on to answer: What case is Dennis Chiang going to handle? How will it turn out? Will he win or lose?

8. Crossroads

Technique used: none

In this chapter, Walter Woon also used a development in the previous chapter to continue his story.

So dear reader, now that you know an eminent lawyer-ambassador-academic uses many of the same techniques as you to start a story, you can rest assured that you are in good company. What you need to do is to think of how to insert hooks into your introductions, to surprise, intrigue and excite your reader.

PS: If you want to read a review of The Advocate’s Devil, click here.

P3/4 COMPOSITION: BEWARE OF SCISSORS DURING ART & CRAFT LESSON

As the PSLE is over, the weekly stories that I post will be for P3/4 pupils who will be having their end-of-year examinations soon.


I won't go through the Picture Analysis for P3/4 picture-based compositions because they tend to be more predictable; the format is either 4 pictures or 3 pictures and one question mark.


There are two themes this week. The main theme is how to begin a story. If you've been following the blog, you would know that I've done this for P5/6 pupils. For P3/4 pupils, I cover five instead of nine methods, and it's usually okay to accept cliche introductions, because of their more tender years. The idea here is to write a competent story, not to write one that will awe the examiner into giving you as high a mark as possible.


That said, if you are an advanced writer, there's no harm showing the examiner what you're capable of.


The second theme is to how to describe bleeding, a common occurrence in many stories, so it's very useful to know this, rather than just mention in passing 'he bled a lot'.


So watch Video 1 and Video 2 below to learn the 5 ways to begin a story and how to describe and handle blood in stories.


Video 1: How to Begin a Composition



The 5 ways:
1. Describe the weather (careful)/place
2. Speech/Dialogue
3. Flashback
4. Question
5. Climax

These are the various ways. But there are some points to note and you're advised to watch the video to glean the points.  :)


Video 2: How to describe bleeding




Video 3: Sample Story




That's all for this week.


Feel free to drop me a comment if you've any query or comment about this week's story.


RESOURCES

Assignment

Samples of Introduction and Notes

PSLE COMPOSITION: ACCEPTABLE TOPICS & TABOO ONES

I would like to share a well-written and thoughtful post that I came across in the KiasuParent. The author, AdvancedAcademia, talked about the topics that are acceptable in the PSLE as well as those that are taboo.

Those who want to read the original post, please click here.

I would summarise his (or her?) points and add my own thoughts about them.

Firstly he categorised the taboo topics into four broad categories:

1.          Crime

2.          Fantasy/Horror/Flights of Imagination (which I shall shorten to Flights of Fantasy/Horror)

3.          Race & Religion

4.          Morality & Ethics

1. Crime

AA: Crimes such as mass murder, terrorism, kidnapping, white collar-crime and identity theft are not encouraged because the pupils are too young and do not have the necessary knowledge to write a convincing story.

But others like robbery, snatch-theft, vandalism and the occasional murder are okay.

I agree mostly with him except that kidnapping is a topic that I feel many Primary 5/6 children are able to handle. Sometimes, it depends on whether the topic has been taught in school. For example, in the mid- to late 2000s, terrorism was a popular composition topic in school (due to the Mas Selamat saga) although I can’t remember if it ever came out in the PSLE. But I did topics such as kidnapping and terrorism with the pupils and they were mostly able to handle it. The key is that the pupil must have done the topic before and is familiar with the chain of events that could unfold in such cases, and also the vocabulary associated with such incidents.

2. Flights of Fantasy/Horror

A definite no-no. AA’s rationale is that no rules govern these themes and so if they are allowed, it might encourage rampant memorisation of compositions to be regurgitated during exam time.

Totally agree. Fantasy is completely out. Talking animals, witches flying on brooms (ironic considering that JK Rowling made a huge fortune writing about this), fairies and elves are out. Any appearance of these in the story will result in a failing or near-failing mark.

Horror is generally also not advised. Not because it is outright banned, but because most children don’t write it well. Blame Mr Midnight.


An effective horror story is one that sends chills down your spine. I have seen first-hand pupils’ unguided attempts at writing horror, and it’s not a pretty sight. Such stories tend to degenerate into victims running around screaming for no good reason and caricatures of horror figures.

That said, I have also personally seen a PSLE script that was almost awarded full marks despite the fact that it was a horror story. And it got the marks it did because it spooked the examiner! However, that is more the exception than the rule, so pupils are generally advised to give horror stories a wide berth.

[For those who are really keen to explore horror stories, a hint: In your ghost story, the word ‘ghost’ shouldn’t appear at all. No one has ever proved the existence of ghosts, so don’t go around shouting ‘Ghost!’ in your story. A successful horror story is usually presented as a chain of inexplicable and eerie events that points towards one conclusion — the presence of the supernatural, but you can’t say conclusively that that’s the case, you can only suspect. And the story may just end that way — an unshakeable suspicion that you had had a brush with the supernatural, but it’s only a suspicion. Another way to end a horror story is to have the narrator be confronted by irrefutable evidence that he was indeed haunted, but this approach is riskier in the PSLE, because you actually end at the climax, and more conservative teachers would not accept such an unorthodox story structure.]

3. Race & Religion

No value judgments. That means no racial stereotype. Same goes for religion. Also don't criticise any race or religion.

But if you do not make judgments about race or religion, and use the tension between races or religion as a trigger for conflict between characters, then it should be okay.

This is new to me. I’ve never done this with my pupils, but now I’m certainly inspired to do so. These topics would be great fodder for stories with emotional growth. You could for example have a story about a girl growing up with certain stereotypes but through an incident learnt that her mental pictures were false.

Such stories, if handled properly, would be able to score well for content because they are really rare. From experience, I would say that above average pupils would be able to handle such topics. Even for pupils who are not so academically inclined, such topics tend to stretch their critical thinking and would be more likely to trigger their interest than yet another birthday story.

4. Morality & Ethics

The main point here is whether you could have the villain in the story winning and the hero losing. Writing as an artistic endeavour embraces such stories; they reflect reality.

But in the PSLE, it is generally frowned upon because of the fear that such stories would carry the wrong lessons. Hence in the PSLE, pupils are encouraged to punish wrong-doers and reward the good.

I agree. It is a huge risk to go against the grain of the conventional story in which the hero overcomes the villain. If you want to do something different and interesting, save that for an exercise in class or fan fiction.

Other thoughts

1. No stories about rape or molestation or any other sexual offence. Mostly for the same reasons as (1). And this genre has the additional danger of offending the more conservative teachers. So don’t go there.

2. No waking up and it was all a dream. Marked out of point instantly because instructions are very clear. Picture does not depict a dream. Neither does given scenario.

3. No UFO or science fiction either. Mainly for same reasons as (2).


4. Stories in which the first-person narrator ('I') dies are also discouraged. How about the death of an important character? This is a grey area. The conventional wisdom is 'no' because the pupils at 12 are not mature enough to handle the idea of death in a sensitive and touching manner. But there are always exceptions and some rare 12-year-olds are capable of writing heart-wrenching stories. My advice is to avoid it unless you've done it before and a qualified person (your teacher or tutor) told you it was a commendable effort.

Acceptable Topics

So we’ve covered the composition topics that should be avoided in the PSLE. What’s left to write about?

As a quick run-through, these stories are fine for PSLE examination purposes:

•             Crime

o   Robbery

o   Snatch-theft

o   Vandalism

o   Burglary

o   Scams

o   Underage smoking

o   Kidnap (if you don’t want to write a full kidnap story, you could turn it into a scam)

o   Gangs

•             Animal-related (mostly about being attacked by such animals)

o   Upsetting a beehive

o   Chased by a goat

o   Hurt by a crab

o   Drenched by an elephant

o   Snake (common topic in school, but not sure if it came out in the PSLE before)

o   Dog (has not come out yet in the PSLE, but I’ve always thought it’s a distinct possibility given the reports of attacks by wild dogs in Punggol, and the number of pets gone rogue)

o   Helping a distressed animal

•             School-related

o   Cheating

o   Being late for school

o   Bullying

o   Fights

o   Accidents (breaking window, banging into someone in the canteen, falling down, cutting oneself during Art & Crafts, laboratory accident etc.)

•             Accidents

o   Drowning

o   Fire

o   Road accidents

o   Dropping an ice cream on a passer-by in the mall

o   Falling into a hole in the park

o   Tripping over unseen stumbling blocks

o   Splashed by passing vehicles

•             Home-related

o   Scalded at home

o   Hurt by iron

o   Sibling rivalry

o   Broke something fragile

o   Cuts (by knives, scissors, broken glass shards)

o   Special occasions (birthdays, festivals, etc.)

•             Others

o   Trapped in the lift

o   Graciousness (giving up one’s seat on the bus/in the MRT, helping elderly cross the road, helping a friend in trouble, etc)

o   Mischief (pelting eggs at innocent passers-by, raiding neighbour’s fruit trees, scribbling on sibling’s homework)

o   Animal abuse

o   Conflicts between friends, neighbours, etc.

o   Trips (zoo, beach, airport)

o   Caught in the rain

o   Suicide

The list is not exhaustive. If you can think of any topic that has been left out, either acceptable or taboo, feel free to drop a comment below. It would be greatly appreciated. Cheers!

HOW TO START A STORY AKA HOW TO START A PSLE COMPOSITION PART III

We have come to the last part on How to Start a Story. If you want to, you could check out Part I and Part II.

For third and final segment, the techniques we will be covering are:

7.          Proverb/Idiom/Famous saying

8.          Unique action

9.          Climax/Create suspense

7. Proverb/Idiom/Famous saying

This one is pretty straightforward. You begin the story with an a proverb, an idiom or a famous saying (which also includes quotations from famous people).

The proverb/idiom/famous saying does not have to be the first sentence of the story, which is a misconception many pupils have. It can be the first sentence, but it is also okay as long as it appears in the first paragraph.

Example:

My parents and teachers told me: It pays to be kind. Innocent me used to believe it until I learnt the hard way that it is not always the case. Up to now, I still have the scar to remind me that sometimes, kindness does not pay…

On that fateful day, my class was ferried to Changi Beach so early in the morning that when we arrived at the beach, the sun had not fully risen yet…

For this story, I will go on to describe how there were not enough tongs to go round, and the narrator, having been taught to be kind, offered his tongs to his classmate. Then the accident happened. But we don’t want to end the story with the lesson that it doesn’t pay to be kind; so we have to modify the conclusion a little, like this:

Even though I learnt that it does not always pay to be kind, I do not regret lending the tongs to Sharon. Even if I were to choose again, I would still lend her the tongs. Even though the gash was deep and it hurt a lot, I felt good inside, because I knew I had done the right thing. If Sharon had been injured because she did not have the tongs, I would have felt bad for being selfish. That day, I also learnt that goodness is reward enough in itself. [Note: it is also possible to end a story with a proverb/idiom/famous saying.]

The proverb/idiom/famous saying must be relevant to the story

To be able to use the proverb/idiom/famous saying effectively and relevantly, you must of course know enough proverbs/idioms/famous sayings. I found this website for proverbs. It has a rather comprehensive list; just click on the one you are interested in and it will also provide you with the explanation. This one is for idioms, and this one for famous sayings.

For famous sayings, I chose one with short sayings, and the list is short too. A large number of famous sayings deal with topics that are too abstract for primary school children, and would not be useful for the stories that are likely to appear in the PSLE. So use your discretion. If you find that it is not useful, leave it. But if you are a Primary 4 or 5 pupil, and you have free time in the year-end holidays, it would be good to devote one or two afternoons to read through the website and note down the ones that have a good chance of being used in your stories.

If you can’t think of any proverb/idiom/famous saying that is relevant to the storyline you want to write, don’t panic. Remember, you have got 8 other ways to begin a story.

8. Unique Introduction

This name is a bit of a misnomer.

The unique introduction is actually not all that unique. Let me first explain what it is: it is an action done by a character or an object in the story. The introduction is called ‘unique introduction’ because it does not fall into one of the techniques that you find in composition-writing guidebooks on how to begin a composition. Neither is it taught in schools. But you know what? Many storybooks these days begin in such a manner. Next time you visit a library, check out the introduction of as many books as you can. You will see that many modern storybooks begin with unique introductions (which turns out not to be so unique after all).

The advantages of a unique introduction are that:

1. it shows, not tell

2. it is not cliche

Also note that such actions tend to be mundane actions. Let me illustrate with some examples.

Darryl stifled a yawn as Mr Chong droned on about what the class needed to pay attention to when they were collecting the rubbish…

The bus stopped with a jerk, and there was a collective sigh of gladness — it had been a long journey from their school to East Coast Park.

Darryl’s eyes were fixed on the aquamarine sea while Mr Chong, his form teacher, was telling the class the safety precautions they should observe while performing their Community Involvement Programme (CIP) duties.

The underlined actions are rather common actions that take place in many people’s lives. The idea is to start the story at a low tension base for the introduction, before raising the tension for the climax.

Exception: But if you want to create a hook in your introduction, or if you are using the climax or creating suspense for your introduction, you could also create a unique introduction with an action that that is more unusual. (See examples below.)

Pupils who are worried about writing cliche stories can always begin with a unique introduction. I can assure you that it is very unlikely someone else will have an introduction that is similar to yours.

Note: I used to call this technique the ‘unique action’, but the term was a bit of a misnomer, given that the actions used are mostly common actions, so I’ve amended it to ‘unique introduction’, which is slightly more accurate.

Use the unique introduction in stories with exciting plots

The diagram above illustrates the basic form of a story: introduction, climax, conclusion. The base indicates the initial level of a reader’s interest before reading your story.

As you can see from the diagram, the unique introduction tends to arouse less reader interest in the beginning, whereas if you have something gripping like starting with a climax/creating suspense, you would trigger the reader’s interest right from the start.

What I’m trying to say is that if you have a very exciting plot (kidnapping, robbery, car accident) where the stakes in the story are higher, it is okay to start with a unique action because the thrilling developments in your story can raise and sustain the reader’s interest.

However, if your plot is a little more mundane (breaking Mother’s favourite vase, being late for school, a trip to the zoo), then you have to work a lot harder to engage your reader’s interest and it would be in your interest to come up with a more attention-grabbing introduction (think flashback, climax/creating suspense, characterisation). From the graph, you can see that for stories where the stakes are not so high, it is difficult to maintain high interest in the reader, so it is better to give an introduction that will hook the reader’s attention right from the start.

That said, I must qualify that fine writing lifts all plots and can turn even the simplest story into an engaging one. So if you are such a writer, write as inspiration dictates (within the confines of PSLE expectations).

9. Climax/Creating Suspense

These are really two different techniques even through there is some overlap.

Let’s talk about starting with a climax first.

Climax

A climax is the peak of the story, so as the name suggests, this technique means to start at the climax of the story, rather than the introduction.

Such a beginning tends to grab the reader’s attention and encourage them to read on.

Example:

The red hot agony bit into Darryl’s little finger so viciously that for a split second, Darryl was surprised that such excruciation could exist. That momentary surprise was swiftly overwhelmed by instinct and he bawled at the top of his voice, a roar of pain and fear. His eyes fell on his finger and widened in disbelief when he saw a huge crab dangling from his little finger!

*

This introduction raises many questions in the reader’s mind: How did that crab end up on Darryl’s finger? How bad were Darryl’s injuries? How would he get rid of the crab? These questions will hook the reader’s interest and entice him to continue reading.

The challenge with such an introduction is how to continue after the first paragraph?

The conventional advice is to return to the beginning of the story and then follow the usual trajectory of a story: introduction, climax and conclusion. Note that that means the climax will appear twice in the story, yes? But please don’t cut and paste the climax from the introduction, unless you want to heighten the effect of the problem for dramatic effect. What is usually done is to rephrase the climax: same event, different words.

Example continuing from * :

No one had thought that things would turn out like this. The class had been in a jovial mood that morning for there would be no lessons. Instead they were going to East Coast Park for their Community Involvement Programme (CIP). They had been looking forward to it since Mr Chong, their form teacher, told them about the trip the previous week.

Early in the morning, they had assembled in school and boarded the bus that…

The pupil must find a logical and non-disruptive way to go from the climax back to the beginning of the story. A subtle point to note: The real 5 Ws and 1 H (introduction) should be in the PAST PERFECT TENSE because the climax itself is in the SIMPLE PAST TENSE. The change in tenses usually alerts the reader that the story has travelled back to the beginning.

Creating suspense

Creating suspense in the introduction can be done in one of three ways:

1. Introduce a puzzle/riddle

Example:

Darryl looked at the dark grey object in the sand. He wondered what it was. It looked hard and gleamed with a matte sheen. Had he found some ancient treasure?

This example also has features of the climax and unique action.

2. Highlight something that is unusual; the more jarring the better

Example:

Darryl scanned his surroundings. His classmates were chattering nineteen to the dozen as they picked up the rubbish. Mr Chong, the form teacher, was busy supervising Wei Jia and Fatimah, the two giggliest girls in class. No one was paying any attention to him. Good. He bent down to pick up the litter, pretending to be focused on the same task as the rest of the class, not caring what he was picking up. All his attention was focused on the grey object a few metres in front.

What was it? It was grey and gleamed with a matte shine. Was it a treasure? An antique? 

Then you know what happened. This last example is not really jarring, though you could say that Darryl’s behaviour was unusual (that is not how a child doing CIP at the beach usually behaves). But it was the best I could come up with under the constraint of trying to put up this post by today. So please bear with it.

If you could come up with a more unusual or jarring example, that would be great. Email me or put it up in one of the comments below. It would be wonderful if we have these various examples and all readers would gain by seeing what others have done with the same conditions.

We have come to the end of the revision on the various techniques to start a story. I hope you have found the series of posts useful. If you have any query, feel free to drop me an email at learningpartnersyishun@gmail.com, or leave a comment at the bottom of the blog. I look forward to hearing from you.

Tomorrow, I’ll put up a post on the sort of stories that are generally accepted in the PSLE and the topics that are taboo.