A Composition A Week - The Mystery Story

For Week 6, the children were asked to write a mystery story.

The task turned out to be a huge challenge for those who opt to write independently. So for One Composition A Week this time round, we’ll look at some of the pieces and see what we can do to improve them.

A good mystery story has the following traits:

• The identity of the perpetrator is only revealed towards the end of the story. This keeps the reader in suspense and urges said reader to continue reading to find out who the culprit is.

• Clues are given in the story. A well-crafted mystery story provides clues to the reader, inviting the reader to solve the mystery before the investigator in the story does so. This challenge, I suspect, is what makes many a thriller so difficult to put down.

• More often than not, there will be twists in the stories. Red herrings are thrown and surprises are pulled out like rabbits from a magician’s hat.

Even for a 300-500 word composition (which is about the average length we expect for a PSLE composition), a child can incorporate most of these traits into the short story.

The difficulty for many of the pupils is that they are unable to determine what sort of clues are appropriate for the story. Let’s take a look at two samples.

THE MYSTERY OF THE DENUDED BONSAI

Comments for Sample 1

Author 1 has a sound idea of what makes a whodunit story. He has a list of suspects and like any good Agatha Christie book, it is the job of the investigator to look for clues and whittle down the list. The challenge that Author 1 has to overcome is how he places the clues. At the moment, the clues are clumsily inserted. The biggest issue I have with this story though is that the conviction held by the investigator was not backed by conclusive evidence – a must-have for any mystery story. Mysteries cannot be solved by hunches and opinions.

1.            Any inference or deduction must be backed by logic.

2.            Or there must be incontrovertible proof to demonstrate the guilt.

Comments for Sample 2

This is actually a pretty good piece of writing. Author 2 takes a rather different approach from Author 1. He only has 1 suspect but he develops the mystery nicely with aptly inserted clues (three – the magical number of stories! – although one was a little too overpowering) and even provided the motivation that drove the perpetrator to the deed. What I felt that Author 2 could have done better like was to reach a conclusion only after having some incontrovertible evidence or at least some stronger clue, like green stains on the hands or uniform or tiny leaf bits clinging onto the shoes of the perpetrator.

Another way to get around the incontrovertible evidence challenge is to qualify the assumption. What I mean is that Author 2 could have addressed the issue in the narrator’s head:

On my way home, as I was walking along the corridor that ran outside our flats, I passed by Mrs Rajoo’s apartment. I saw her reprimanding Raju for not performing well in the examinations. But what I focused on was Raju clenching his fists in anger, as if he was trying not to hit his mother. Finally the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Even though I have no conclusive proof, I felt that I should voice my suspicions to Mrs Rajoo. The mystery must be brought to light, for both Raju’s as well as Mrs Rajoo’s good. I decided to tell on Raju that very evening.

Tips:

To recap, a good mystery story should have the following elements:

1. Reveal the perpetrator only towards the end of the story.

2. Clues should be given.

3. The perpetrator should have a motive for committing the deed.

4. Twists can be included to make the story more interesting.

Keeping in mind that if a child were to do such a story during examinations (50 minutes in the PSLE, after accounting for time needed to complete the Situational Writing question), the skeleton of such a story should include:

·         1 suspect (there is not enough time to develop the back stories of too many suspects) who turns out to be innocent

·         the perpetrator who turns out to be someone unexpected

·         the motivations of the suspect and perpetrator (the suspect should have a motive too; if not, why would he/she be suspected? Author 1 did address this with his first two suspects)

·         3 clues (first two should be ambiguous, meaning that the first two clues should seem to point towards the suspect but should not preclude the perpetrator and the last one should be conclusive enough to indicate who the true perpetrator was)

Reading Recommendations

I know, I know. Parents and children lament that with the tough school load, there is just no time for reading. But for children who are not yet in Primary 6 or for Primary 6 pupils who can find the time to read, the following authors or books are good fodder for stimulating the imagination and gleaning ideas:

1. Agatha Christie (Miss Marple, M. Poirot & other)
2. Enid Blyton (Famous Five, Secret Seven, Five Find-Outers & Dog)
3. Arthur Conan Doyle (Sherlock Holmes)
4. the 39 Clues series
5. Alfred Hitchcock and Robert Arthur, Jr (Three Investigators)
6. Carolyn Keene (Nancy Drew)
7. Franklin W. Dixon (Hardy Boys)

#1-3 are for the more advanced readers as these books are targeted at mature readers whereas #4-7 are suitable for younger readers.