For the penultimate assignment before the PSLE, the Advanced Composition classes were asked to work on this theme:
You and your brother were visiting your
grandparents in a housing estate. As both of you were walking towards a block
of flats, a big fierce dog pounced onto your brother. Your brother was knocked
onto the ground. You were afraid the dog would attack you next so you started
to run.
One discovery that I've made over the years is that at the tender age of 11 and 12, most children do not have the emotional complexity to cast themselves as the villain in the story. Most still picture themselves doing the right thing in any make-believe scenario, even if the right actions would come with a very high price. Such purity is of course laudable.
I enjoyed a couple of stories that creatively twisted the original premise that I gave and allowed the stories to unfold in such a manner that the narrator ('I') was not cast in an entirely negative light. Here's the first one:
DO
NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER
Sweat
trickled down my cheek as I strolled along the pavement under the hot sun. My
younger brother Tyson was trailing behind me. We were on the way to visit our
grandparents at their place. We were ambling
towards their flat when a big fierce dog appeared from nowhere.
The
beast stood as tall as my waist.
It bared its teeth at us. I
always had a soft spot for dogs, but not this one. It looked muscular and
strong. Saliva drooled from its mouth
as it approached us. ‘Doggy!’ my five-year-old brother exclaimed as he reached
out to stroke the dog. The canine
actually looked as tall as him. Before I could pull him away, his fingertips
brushed against the grey fur of the beast. That set the dog off. I could only
watch in numb horror as the dog flung itself onto Tyson. He was knocked to the
ground. I was afraid the dog would attack me next so I spun around and took to
my heels.
I ran
blindly, not seeing where I was going and not knowing what I was doing. Tyson’s
laughter and the dog’s excited barks echoed in the void deck. Hey wait, laughter?
I stopped dead in my tracks. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a
familiar figure hurrying down the path. It was my cousin, Thalia.
Her
face lit up when she saw me. She sprinted towards me. Her hair was dishevelled and her voice grew shrill with worry as she greeted
me. ‘What happened?’ I asked her.
‘My…dog…went
missing…just now,’ she explained between breaths. It seemed that something just
occurred to her as she looked around. ‘Hey wait, where’s Tyson? Grandma said
both of you are coming.’
Nervously,
I swallowed a lump in my throat and tried to change the subject, ‘Erm, you mean the new dog you just got last week? How did it
disappear? I was looking forward to playing with it! What does it look
like? Maybe we find it together?’
Thalia
beamed, ‘Really?’
I
nodded.
‘Her
name is Mrs O’Leary. An Alsatian. About this tall.’ She lifted her hand to her
waist, palm faced down as she described her dog. ‘It ran away when I brought it
here for a walk on the way to Grandma’s house…’
My
thoughts turned to the dog that attacked Tyson. Without hesitation, I turned
and sprinted to where Tyson was attacked. When I reached there, the dog still
had my brother pinned to the ground. As I was only focusing on getting the
beast off my brother, I did not realise there was a smile on Tyson’s face. Oblivious to Thalia’s shouts for
me to wait for her, I picked up a fist-sized rock from the ground and aimed it
at the canine. As soon as the rock left my hand, I regretted it. Thalia
sprinted onto the scene. ‘Mrs O’Leary!’ she screamed as the rock hit the dog.
The dog yelped as it leaped away from Tyson. It did not look hurt at all. It
sprinted towards Thalia.
‘Thalia!’
I screamed. To my amazement, Thalia tackled it with a hug.
‘Brother,
why do you need to spoil my fun? I was having a whale of a time!’ Tyson
complained.
‘Thanks
for helping me find Mrs O’Leary, so I’ll forgive you for throwing the stone at
her!’ Thalia said, her voice cheerful as it was before and as Mrs O’Leary
licked her face fondly. Realisation
dawned upon me. I blushed at my recklessness. Fortunately, Mrs O’Leary
was not hurt.
I
looked at the furry creature and it blinked back at me with its big round eyes,
its tongue hanging out of its mouth. I must admit that it looked cute. It also
looked friendlier than it had minutes before. It bounded up the stairs as we made our way to our grandparents’
apartment. Why did we take the stairs? It we took the lift, there were two
possibilities. One, Mrs O’Leary would squash us. Two, we all managed to squeeze
in, but leaving little space for us two-legged humans and Mrs O’Leary would fidget a lot or whack us with
its tail.
Huang
Xinyi (P6)
Chongfu
Primary School
I had one issue with this story and that was the strange fact that the narrator did not recognise his cousin's pet. Hence I added the words in red to address this loophole.
