I came across this sentence in a book that I am reading:
He froze, half-way down into his chair, eyeing me warily with pursed lips.
Can you spot the mistake in the sentence?
The mistake appears in the last part of the sentence. 'Eyeing me warily with pursed lips' means that 'he' (Humphrey Appleby) was using his pursed lips to eye 'me' (Jim Hacker).
It is hilarious because of course we don't use our lips to eye anyone, warily or not.
What Jim Hacker is trying to say is:
Humphrey froze, half-way down into his seat, his eyes warily on me and his lips pursed.
This is a common mistake. I've come across examples of such mistakes in pupils' work before:
- Father shouted at me with clenched fists.
- I crept to the room with my pounding heart.
And from this week's work:
- Auntie Lim marched to Mrs Wong's house and pounded on her door with flashing eyes.
So dear reader, when you are writing, be careful; make sure that you link the right action to the right subject (the noun that is doing the action).
[And because I can hear some pupils asking 'What are pursed lips?', see the picture below.]
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| Famous pursed lips. Famous not referring to the lips, but the owner of the lips. |
Advanced Composition
1. Auntie Lim and Mrs Wong had a relationship akin to that of cats and dogs.
2. hatching a conspiracy
3. alienate
4. The incident triggered off an enmity so deep that it made the Joo Chiat residents seem like jolly neighbours.
5. The war of words escalated into a shouting match.
6. stood with her arms akimbo
7. agitation
8. altercation
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| This, my dears, is how you stand with arms akimbo. |
Intermediate Composition
1. ear-piercing scream
2. snatch
3. without hesitation
4. immediately
5. pursuit
6. Soon his lungs were burning and his heart was thumping.
7. his heart lurched
8. surrender
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