PRIMARY 3 & PRIMARY 4 COMPOSITION - HOT WEATHER & EUREKA!

The pictures for today's composition:

This is not a usual theme that we see in school; as such, some pupils may find it quite challenging to write such a story. Nonetheless, I believe that it is beneficial to get the pupils to do this exercise for a couple of reasons:

1. It is good to get them to write some non-examination type stories, to expand their repertoire.

2. It can get boring to write the same type of stories over and over; so writing a story that is not typical of what they usually do spices up the exercise for them.


The story is also pretty straightforward so I won't be doing a picture analysis. Instead, for the first video, I'll zoom straight into the first focus or theme for this week: How to describe hot weather.



Hot Weather


Many pupils like to begin the story by describing the weather. As the weather in Singapore is typically hot, it would be useful to know various ways of describing hot weather.


For example, instead of saying 'It was a hot day.' -- so boring! -- you could say 'It was a sweltering day.' Watch the video to find out other interesting ways of describing hot weather.






Eureka!


In many stories, there would be a point where a character gets an idea and then the story proceeds. Again, it is so dull when you just say 'I had an idea.'


Watch the video to learn 8 different ways to say 'I had an idea.' and spice up your writing.






Sample Story

PRIMARY 3 & PRIMARY 4 COMPOSITION - LINKING WORDS TO MAKE SENTENCE STRUCTURES MORE INTERESTING

Using the same sentence structure again and again is boring


A common problem amongst beginning writers is they tend to use the same sentence structure throughout their writing, resulting in a monotonous and boring story.


The sentence structure most commonly used is:

Subject + verb + object

This problem is easily resolved by adding some linking words/phrases in front of the sentence. Linking words/phrases are simply words and phrases that link what you want to say in the sentence to the previous sentence.

Using linking words/phrases at the start of your sentence will add some variety to your sentence structure, making your writing more interesting. Not only that, they also help your story to flow more smoothly and make your story clearer to your reader (by showing cause and effect, sequence of events, etc).

Some linking words/phrases that you can add to the front of your sentences:

To describe an unexpected happening Ø Suddenly Ø All of a ____________________ Ø Out of the blue Ø Abruptly	To describe an exact moment Ø Just at that moment Ø Just at that instant Ø Just then
Phrases to show passage of a short period of time Ø After a short while Ø Within a few minutes/A few minutes later Ø Not long later/Soon Ø In no time	Phrases to show Immediately Ø Immediately Ø Instantly/Instantaneously Ø Without further ado Ø In the nick of time
Phrases to show passage of time Ø After some time Ø Some time later Ø Later in the…, Ø Finally Ø In the end Ø At last	Using Adverbs as Linking Words Ø Unfortunately/Fortunately Ø Coincidentally Ø Quickly
Words/Phrases to show two actions going on at the same time Ø While Ø at the same time Ø as… Ø concurrently	Using Emotions as Linking Words Ø Out of curiosity Ø To my shock Ø Filled with delight
Words/Phrases to show cause/Reason Ø Due to… Ø Because… Ø As Ø Since…

Here is the story for this week. Note that linking words/phrases used at the start of the sentence are in pink.

A note about content

This story is a little outdated. I first created it for my pupils in 2008. It was very popular because at that time, Mas Selamat had just escaped from prison and was still at large.

Still I decided to use this outdated story because I want to stress a point. You know the point I keep hammering about writing an original story, a story that is different from what your friends and classmates will write?

A way to do that is to use current affairs in your news. What are the current events that have captured the public's imagination? What comes to mind: the Chinese tour guide and the rich widow, City Harvest trial, etc.

Of course, to be able to do this means that you have to keep abreast of current news, which means that you need to read the newspapers.

So please do so. Not only will you improve your English, who knows, you may be able to use the news that you've read to make your story original and entertaining.

If you want to, you can download this week's assignment and sample story here.

PRIMARY 3 & PRIMARY 4 COMPOSITION - FOOD POISONING

This week's story is a picture-based story about food poisoning.

Video 1 - Picture Analysis

The pictures are ordered in the correct sequence (unlike the new format) but it's not a big issue because most pupils have no problems arranging the pictures in the new format.




Video 2 - Vocabulary of a Trip to the Clinic

The theme for this week is the vocabulary associated with a visit to the doctor's. This vocabulary will come in handy when you have to write a story about:

• falling ill after being drenched in the rain
• having a tummy ache after overeating
• breaking a bone from a fall; and numerous other possibilities in which a character in the story has to see the doctor.

Video 3 - Sample Story

The assignment for the composition can be downloaded from the link provided below.

Resources

Assignment

P3/4 COMPOSITION: FIRE

A reason why many compositions do not score well is because the writing lacks the details that make a story realistic. And the pupils really cannot be blamed for that. Vocabulary needs to be acquired. If pupils are not exposed to the vocabulary of a fire, how can they write a vivid story about it?

This is why in many writing classes in various schools and tuition centres today, you see vocabulary lists being given out in composition classes. Some parents don't like it, thinking that the children are being spoon-fed, and leads to uniform essays devoid of creativity and originality. The charge is valid, but given the classroom conditions of current schools and most tuition centres, this is the most efficient for pupils to acquire the vocabulary they need to produce a decent essay.

Another way to do it? Read. This is a more natural way, but more time-consuming, especially at the start, and it's not favoured by many pupils who already have homework and distractions clamouring for their time. Which is a pity. Because honestly, that's the best way, and the rewards reaped as time progresses are immeasurable. Know why some kids can score A* in English even if they don't have English tuition? Yes, it's because they read. A lot. And widely.

Another thing about reading: try to read beyond storybooks. Storybooks are a must (because the main writing pupils are tested on in primary school is storywriting aka narrative writing), but it is also beneficial to read a wider genre like magazines and newspapers articles.

The latter is an especially good source for petty crime (think snatch theft, robbery, burglary) and accidents (fires, drownings, road accidents) which are common themes in primary school compositions.

Today's composition will be based on a fire. The lesson will first require the pupil to read a newspaper article adaptation and then to identify the phrases/words that are used to describe the fire. After that, in the classroom, I would then go through the vocabulary with them to see how many words/phrases they have correctly identified.

This is not a normal classroom, so I'll put up a YouTube Video instead. Problem is I've no proper Internet access to upload a huge file like a video so the video would have to go up a couple of days later. Please excuse the inconvenience. The videos are ready.

What I'll do is upload the worksheet first. So anyone who is interested can attempt the exercise and then check this blog later for the answers.

Here is the worksheet. Read the article first. Then highlight or underline any words/phrases that describe a fire. Copy them into the box given below the article. Then check Video 1 below to see if you managed to identify all the words/phrases.

Video 1 - Words/Phrases Used to Describe a Fire in a Newspaper Article




Note: In the worksheet used for Video 1, there are some typos. The paragraph in red is the original paragraph seen in the video. Amendments are in green.


Evidently, the fire had broken out shortly before at the Balestier area. Another witness who saw the fire broke break quickly raised the alarm and alerted the other residents. At 1.09am, the SCDF received a call informing them that a unit is on fire at the above-mentioned location. The SCDF responded quickly; the fire engine arrived on the scene within 6 minutes.


In an earlier post, I went through 9 techniques to begin a story. One of the techniques is describing the setting (place, time of day, weather). And the tactic to use then is the five senses. Likewise for describing a fire. To make the fire vivid and realistic, using the five senses helps. So the pupil is encouraged to go through the five senses and see how he or she will use them to describe the fire.


I omitted the sense of taste because the other four senses give enough detail. And I usually recommend giving only two-three instances of descriptions, which means you don't even use all four senses below. But if you insist, taste is also possible. Hint: If you inhale enough smoke, there will be a taste in your mouth. How to describe that?


Again, because I don't have access to a fast enough Internet connection, I can only put up the answers later when I can access the Internet. So please be patient.


See Video 2.

Video 2 - Using the Senses to Describe a Fire




Now the pupil will have the vocabulary from the newspaper article and the Senses exercise. Combine that with the PEA of Fear, he can proceed to write the story. The assignment is that the pupil should imagine himself as a resident of the block that caught fire, and he was at home watching television when the power went off. He should continue the story from here. (Hint: narrator's identity is not fixed [i.e. 'I' can be a Primary 3 or 4 pupil or a doddering old man or even a pregnant woman].)


The video for the sample story will also have to be uploaded later. has been uploaded below.

Video 3 - Sample Story





Assignment

PDF format is available by clicking on this link.

P3/4 COMPOSITION: BEWARE OF SCISSORS DURING ART & CRAFT LESSON

As the PSLE is over, the weekly stories that I post will be for P3/4 pupils who will be having their end-of-year examinations soon.


I won't go through the Picture Analysis for P3/4 picture-based compositions because they tend to be more predictable; the format is either 4 pictures or 3 pictures and one question mark.


There are two themes this week. The main theme is how to begin a story. If you've been following the blog, you would know that I've done this for P5/6 pupils. For P3/4 pupils, I cover five instead of nine methods, and it's usually okay to accept cliche introductions, because of their more tender years. The idea here is to write a competent story, not to write one that will awe the examiner into giving you as high a mark as possible.


That said, if you are an advanced writer, there's no harm showing the examiner what you're capable of.


The second theme is to how to describe bleeding, a common occurrence in many stories, so it's very useful to know this, rather than just mention in passing 'he bled a lot'.


So watch Video 1 and Video 2 below to learn the 5 ways to begin a story and how to describe and handle blood in stories.


Video 1: How to Begin a Composition



The 5 ways:
1. Describe the weather (careful)/place
2. Speech/Dialogue
3. Flashback
4. Question
5. Climax

These are the various ways. But there are some points to note and you're advised to watch the video to glean the points.  :)


Video 2: How to describe bleeding




Video 3: Sample Story




That's all for this week.


Feel free to drop me a comment if you've any query or comment about this week's story.


RESOURCES

Assignment

Samples of Introduction and Notes

PSLE COMPOSITION - A CRAB AT THE BEACH

I mentioned in the previous post that I visited the KiasuParents PSLE forum recently. It was a very fruitful trip as I saw there firsthand the sort of questions that parents and pupils were grappling with in the run-up to the PSLE.


Was it coincidence? Or the law of synchronicity? For this week's composition, I was going to go through this PSLE picture composition:

Then I saw this interesting discussion on KiasuParents, where tutor_ng mentioned that the highest mark he ever gave for a PSLE composition was 39. He went on to add that the composition was so impressive that he remembered the storyline up till the point of posting the comment.

So what was so impressive about the storyline? He said that it was written from a different perspective. The narrator of the storyline was an animal. This is exactly what I've been stressing about each time in the Picture Analysis videos -- if your storyline is different from what your peers are doing, it's easier for you to stand out from the crowd and score well for your content. Of course the caveat is that your storyline must also be logical. No point writing a story that is different from others', but it doesn't make sense. In that scenario, your composition will be considered out of point and you'll do worse than your peers who write the typical boring story.

From further clues here, one can tell that the picture he is talking about is the one with the elephant in the zoo drenching a man holding a camera. You should know which one I'm talking about. If you don't, you've not been studying hard enough. (If you really don't know which picture I'm referring to, please watch Video 1; I've embedded the picture in Video 1.)

For myself, the PSLE composition that scored 40/40 that I know about was also a picture composition. I can't remember which year it is from. If you have old PSLE booklets, you can try to check it out. It was a picture depicting a rainy day, two schoolchildren taking shelter under a bus-stop, and a car zooming past, splashing water at the children. Again, in this instance, the writer took an unusual perspective; the narrator was a raindrop witnessing the event!

So you see, scoring 40/40 for your composition in the PSLE is possible, albeit rare. I should add that needless to say, for these 'perfect' compositions, not only were the storylines unusual, the language used in the stories was also of the highest standard, with perhaps only a couple of minor careless mistakes.

Now I don't want everyone rushing out to write compositions with non-human narrators for the PSLE composition next week.

Why?

Because it is a risky venture. To do well in such stories, the writer must find the right 'voice'. That is, the narrator must come across as a credible non-human. This is challenging for many 12-year-olds. If the 'voice' is not done right, the exercise could end in disaster. So unless you're supremely confident, I'll say: Don't take the risk.


That said, this week's sample composition done by me is actually such a story -- the narrator is the crab in the story. You could just take it as a reference to how it is done. I'll also give three other sample stories, the better stories done by my students in class. The ones done by the students have a human narrator though. What they did was to use the inclusion of details and humour to make the storyline richer.


That was a long preamble. So without further ado, let us start on the first video.


 Video 1: Story Analysis





Sample Story

Video 2 - Describing Pain





Resources

Assignment - The sample story is in the worksheet itself.

Sample stories by students

PSLE COMPOSITION - FATHER'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

Two more weeks before the PSLE English paper.


This week, we're doing yet another PSLE picture composition, the picture composition from either 2012 or 2013.

Video 1 - Picture Analysis

Is the storyline as simple as a pair of children giving their father a surprise birthday party? Or can we add more plot points to make the story more interesting?




Video 2 - Sample Story

Quite a long story this week, but don't worry. As you know, if you miss anything, you can always stop the video and replay the bit that you didn't catch.




Video 3 - Figures of Speech

There are dozens of different types of figures of speech out there. But at the primary school level, we're only concerned with the more common ones. Previously, we've done one type already - metaphors. Today, we'll revise that and cover some new ones.

This video is quite long, in excess of 23 min. I tried to keep it as short as possible, but there are really too many things to cover in this segment. I hope that the length doesn't deter you from watching the video and that you find it useful.




Resources

Assignment

Figures of Speech


Note:

In Video 2, when I went through Paragraph, I mentioned the ellipsis, a punctuation mark that is denoted by 3 full stops (...).

To recap, ellipses have a couple of functions:

1. They are used to indicate missing words, and we use the ellipsis for this function very often in our sample stories.

2. They are also used to indicate an unfinished thought or speech. And this is their function in the last 3 ellipses in Paragraph 1. Hence, the last 3 ellipses in Para 1 should be written out as they are seen; that means instead of replacing them with words, write out the 3 full stops as you see them. They are used to indicate the incomplete sentences when Faye and John spoke, as well as the last sentence in Paragraph 1 trailing off as we leave the timeline and return to the beginning of the story.

PSLE COMPOSITION - SHOPLIFTING

It's now September, and getting closer than ever to the PSLE. Hope your revision is on track and that at the same time, you are getting sufficient rest and exercise.  :)


This week, we have another picture composition from the PSLE past papers. This one is quite a bit older than those we've been doing the last few weeks. This is from the 1997-2001 booklet if I'm not mistaken.


Video 1 - Picture Analysis



This picture shows a boy running away with a bottle of juice from a void deck minimart. Obvious conclusion: Shoplifting.


Video 2 - Sample Story



Going through the sample story for pupils who like to have a model story to follow. For pupils who prefer to write their stories independently, feel free to just use the picture.


Video 3 - Vocabulary & Conclusions of Shoplifting





For resources this week, there is only the Assignment.  The Vocabulary and Conclusions for shoplifting are printed in the Assignment itself.


Resources

Assignment

PSLE COMPOSITION -- METAPHORS

Over the last four weeks, we have covered the description of the four main emotions: fear, anger, sadness and happiness.


From this week onwards, we'll be covering other themes besides emotions; we'll be going through writing techniques as well as literary devices that make your writing more interesting.


This week, we'll talk about metaphors. Like the previous weeks' format, the first video will discuss the picture and come up with a relevant and interesting storyline.

Video 1: Storyline





In the second video, we go through the sample story.

Video 2: Sample Story




We will explain what metaphors are in the third video. At the same time, we'll show you examples of metaphors, from a famous poem, from the sample story and common metaphors. We'll also explain to you why metaphors are important.

Video 3: Metaphors




Note:
In Video 3 from 9min 46" onwards, there are a couple of typos in the last question on the worksheet. The last question reads:

Can you list some metaphor those that you have come across?


This question should read:

Can you list some metaphors those that you have come across?


I've corrected the typos in the Resources. My apologies for not amending the video -- it's a lot more difficult and time-consuming to re-record the video and re-edit it again.



Resources

Assignment

Metaphors

PEA OF HAPPINESS

This week's composition is based on a recent PSLE question, probably from 2013 or 2012.  Can't remember which.


Again it's the picture-based question. My personal preference is usually question 3, the one whereby you have to continue the story given a opening scenario. Even as a PSLE candidate many many moons ago, I never chose picture-based compositions, whether it was in the actual examination or during practices.


My preference for open-ended questions simply stems from the fact that such questions usually give you more rein for creativity than picture-based ones. However, I've noticed since I began teaching that more than half the students prefer picture-based ones, mainly because they find it easier to stick to a story based on the picture, and also because it's less likely that they will go out of point when they do picture-based compositions.


I've also noticed that in the last 2-3 years, the picture-based composition is getting more difficult. This is because the picture presents a very simple event like birthday celebrations. Such events may be simple to describe but that is also their main problem -- they are too simple. How are you going to score high points for content when describing a birthday celebration?


The idea is to make the story more complex by:

1. adding emotional depth (like what we did here)

2. putting obstacles into the story (perhaps there were some difficulties during the preparation of the party - hence the lack of a birthday cake and dishes?)


This week's format is the same as the previous week's. The first video will analyse the picture and present the storyline we are doing.


Video 1 - Storyline




The second video will go through the sample story.


Video 2 - Sample Story




In the third video, we'll present a list of words and phrases that can be used in the description of happiness.

Video 3 - The PEA of Happiness




Notes:

1. In Video 2, Paragraph 3, second last bullet, 'packed' should be 'pack' because of the modal 'would' in front of it. If you remember, a verb after any modal (can, could, will, would, etc) must take the base form; that means no past tense, past participle or singular form.

2. In Video 3, Action -- one of the actions people do to express their happiness is to pump their fist in the ear air. Sorry for the typo in the video. And it's really tough to re-do the video, so I'm putting the correction here instead.


Resources:

Assignment

PEA of Happiness

PEA OF SADNESS

We've done anger and fear.


This week we're doing sadness.


I've divided the video this week into three parts.


The first video will analyse the picture and see what storyline would be suitable for the picture. (Do note that this is not the only acceptable storyline. In writing, creativity and imagination are paramount.)




In the second video, we will go through the sample story. Once again, the sample story is not cast in stone. It is only meant as a point of reference. Feel free to explore and use your own ideas.




In the last video, we cover the theme of the week: the PEA of Sadness. You'll learn how to describe sadness in your writing here.





Resources for this week:

Assignment

PEA of Sadness

PEA OF ANGER

This is this week's composition. I've split it into two videos as it came up to almost twenty minutes despite my best efforts.


The first video will go through the outline of the story, and in the second video, we go through how to describe anger.


The first video (I tried to embed the video, but being rather technically unsavvy, I'm having problems, and I'm in a hurry, so will leave it as a link instead, and come back to fix it later). Edit: Embedded already. Whoo hoo! Learnt a new trick today. Who says you can't teach old dogs new tricks?

A Composition A Week - Flight

I realised that I've been putting up works only by our primary school pupils.


To address the imbalance, here is an essay by one of our secondary school pupils.

FLIGHT

For years, Man dreamt of one day when he is able to throw off the shackles that bind him to the ground, to be able to be as free as the birds in the sky, to be able to make the sky their limit. Since time immemorial, Man was only able to dream, to gaze wistfully at the creatures of the sky as they soar through the air effortlessly, hoping that one day, he might be able to take his place in the sky.

With the birth of civilisation and Man settling down instead of constantly being on the move, a myriad of flying instruments flourished as Man tried to crack the code that binds us to the ground. From kites and hot air balloons in China to gliders in Europe, Man was able to send objects into the air for a period of time, but realising his dreams of sustained flight and putting men in the skies still eluded him.

A sample of da Vinci's flying machine

By the 15^th century, Renaissance in Europe was in full bloom, with art and science flourishing throughout the continent. Leonardo da Vinci, a visionary and artist, dreamt of great things, designing multiple blueprints for a submarine, a tank, a parachute and many more. But none was more intriguing than his blueprints for a flying machine. Many inventors after da Vinci tried and failed to get larger objects airborne in sustained flight but most ended in failure.

As the Industrial Age drew near, Man had not given up on his aspiration to be airborne. With new technological discoveries, Man was ever closer in having his dream take flight. In the late 18^th century, the Montgolfier brothers succeeded in placing humans in the sky via a tethered hot air balloon. It was a success, now that Man is able to travel by air, albeit slowly. With the invention of the steam engine, aviation was revolutionised as Man was then able to travel against the air currents at a faster speed. Known as airships, they were regarded as the cutting edge of technology, similar to how we regard Google’s project on building a self-steering car today. These balloons were used in the American Civil War as observation posts, and subsequently used in the Franco-Prussian War to evacuate French politicians from Paris before its capture. Though the balloons were ground-breaking technology, they were extremely fragile and slow, so Man went back to the drawing board once more.

Zepplins - Germany's war machines

Multiple inventions were made to create a faster and safer substitute for balloons throughout the 19^th century but none were as famous as the Wright brothers’ invention of the world’s first sustained flight aircraft powered by a control engine in the early 1900s. The new technology was primitive, and Man still preferred to travel by air via large airships. By the time World War One erupted in Europe, war was taken, for the first time, to the air. Armed airships, known as Zeppelins, bombed London, and observed troop movements. The race to take the airships down started. Both the Allies and the Central Powers drew on the Wright brothers’ new technology, designing the world’s first fighter and bomber aircraft. By the time the war ended, flight had taken a whole new shape. The aircraft technology had advanced rapidly in the short five years of war, at a pace which astounded many. The technological advancements made to the aircraft should have required at least twenty years by the pace they were going, but the war sped it up by four times.

The Hindenburg Disaster -
the aviation equivalent of the Titanic

After the war, the aircraft technology was turned over for civilian use. Commercial flights were available, but they were dwarfed by airships. However, airship travel was slow and dangerous, and a large scale accident involving a certain Hindenberg airship spelled doom for airship travel forever. By the 1930s, the world was once again gearing up for war as Nazi aggression in Europe increases. Primitive biplanes made of paper and wood soon evolved into a much more advanced form. With the outbreak of World War Two, aviation technology once again sped up as nations competed to design and build more advanced aircraft. Soon, pressurised cabins and jet technology came into the picture and by the time the war came to an end, the technology was more advanced than ever. Another arms race began as the two superpowers, America and Russia, competed to gain the upper hand in the Cold War. Jet technology was further refined and the range of aircraft extended. Such technologies affected the commercial market for air travel as much as they did for the military. Douglas initially was the largest producer of commercial aircraft, but Boeing soon cornered the markets with the release of the model 747, which changed the way air travel was run till this day. However, a new giant has recently made it big, the Airbus company with their A380 model, and subsequent advanced designs, making people wonder if there is a new aviation revolution waiting to happen.

From dreams to reality, from kites to jumbo planes, Man has succeeded in taking flight and joining the other creatures of flight in the skies. Once we merely thought of joining the creatures of flight as equals, but today we have surpassed them by leaps and bounds, being able to fly further, faster and higher than any known creature in the world. Man has come a long way since our existence, and out thirst and dreams of desiring something that is bodily out of reach drives us ever forward. We are a species that is not designed for flight, but yet we manage to break the boundaries and chains binding us to the ground. The sky is the limit for us now.

Lee Shao Yee (S3)

Catholic High

Note: The topic was a GCE O-Level essay question.

A Misunderstanding II

Another take on a misunderstanding.

A Misunderstanding I

The last writing assignment for the P6 students before they took the PSLE English examination on Thursday was this:

You could hardly believe that your best friend could have done something like this. A wave of fury swept over you.

The story is an example of good content and great language:

Do Not Judge a Book by Its Cover

For the penultimate assignment before the PSLE, the Advanced Composition classes were asked to work on this theme:

You and your brother were visiting your grandparents in a housing estate. As both of you were walking towards a block of flats, a big fierce dog pounced onto your brother. Your brother was knocked onto the ground. You were afraid the dog would attack you next so you started to run.

One discovery that I've made over the years is that at the tender age of 11 and 12, most children do not have the emotional complexity to cast themselves as the villain in the story. Most still picture themselves doing the right thing in any make-believe scenario, even if the right actions would come with a very high price. Such purity is of course laudable.


I enjoyed a couple of stories that creatively twisted the original premise that I gave and allowed the stories to unfold in such a manner that the narrator ('I') was not cast in an entirely negative light. Here's the first one:

DO NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

Sweat trickled down my cheek as I strolled along the pavement under the hot sun. My younger brother Tyson was trailing behind me. We were on the way to visit our grandparents at their place. We were ambling towards their flat when a big fierce dog appeared from nowhere.

The beast stood as tall as my waist. It bared its teeth at us. I always had a soft spot for dogs, but not this one. It looked muscular and strong. Saliva drooled from its mouth as it approached us. ‘Doggy!’ my five-year-old brother exclaimed as he reached out to stroke the dog. The canine actually looked as tall as him. Before I could pull him away, his fingertips brushed against the grey fur of the beast. That set the dog off. I could only watch in numb horror as the dog flung itself onto Tyson. He was knocked to the ground. I was afraid the dog would attack me next so I spun around and took to my heels.

I ran blindly, not seeing where I was going and not knowing what I was doing. Tyson’s laughter and the dog’s excited barks echoed in the void deck. Hey wait, laughter? I stopped dead in my tracks. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar figure hurrying down the path. It was my cousin, Thalia.

Her face lit up when she saw me. She sprinted towards me. Her hair was dishevelled and her voice grew shrill with worry as she greeted me. ‘What happened?’ I asked her.

‘My…dog…went missing…just now,’ she explained between breaths. It seemed that something just occurred to her as she looked around. ‘Hey wait, where’s Tyson? Grandma said both of you are coming.’

Nervously, I swallowed a lump in my throat and tried to change the subject, ‘Erm, you mean the new dog you just got last week? How did it disappear? I was looking forward to playing with it! What does it look like? Maybe we find it together?’

Thalia beamed, ‘Really?’

I nodded.

‘Her name is Mrs O’Leary. An Alsatian. About this tall.’ She lifted her hand to her waist, palm faced down as she described her dog. ‘It ran away when I brought it here for a walk on the way to Grandma’s house…’

My thoughts turned to the dog that attacked Tyson. Without hesitation, I turned and sprinted to where Tyson was attacked. When I reached there, the dog still had my brother pinned to the ground. As I was only focusing on getting the beast off my brother, I did not realise there was a smile on Tyson’s face. Oblivious to Thalia’s shouts for me to wait for her, I picked up a fist-sized rock from the ground and aimed it at the canine. As soon as the rock left my hand, I regretted it. Thalia sprinted onto the scene. ‘Mrs O’Leary!’ she screamed as the rock hit the dog. The dog yelped as it leaped away from Tyson. It did not look hurt at all. It sprinted towards Thalia.

‘Thalia!’ I screamed. To my amazement, Thalia tackled it with a hug.

‘Brother, why do you need to spoil my fun? I was having a whale of a time!’ Tyson complained.

‘Thanks for helping me find Mrs O’Leary, so I’ll forgive you for throwing the stone at her!’ Thalia said, her voice cheerful as it was before and as Mrs O’Leary licked her face fondly. Realisation dawned upon me. I blushed at my recklessness. Fortunately, Mrs O’Leary was not hurt.

I looked at the furry creature and it blinked back at me with its big round eyes, its tongue hanging out of its mouth. I must admit that it looked cute. It also looked friendlier than it had minutes before. It bounded up the stairs as we made our way to our grandparents’ apartment. Why did we take the stairs? It we took the lift, there were two possibilities. One, Mrs O’Leary would squash us. Two, we all managed to squeeze in, but leaving little space for us two-legged humans and Mrs O’Leary would fidget a lot or whack us with its tail.

Huang Xinyi (P6)

Chongfu Primary School

I had one issue with this story and that was the strange fact that the narrator did not recognise his cousin's pet. Hence I added the words in red to address this loophole.